


His Corruption

by ShandyCandy278



Series: The Role Reversal AU [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Anti-Void, Anxiety, Bullying, Corruption, Forgetting, Hurt/Comfort, I'll probably write others focusing on the other characters, Insanity, It gets very confusing, It's like a swap multiverse but not, Kidnapping, LOTS OF PANIC ATTACKS, Memory Loss, Name Calling, Nightmare/Jeal becomes an error, No Character Death, Panic Attacks, Poor Aspire, Poor Jeal, RR!AU, Role Reversal AU, Self Harm, This one focuses around Nightmare/Jeal, abuse (but I wouldn't call it graphic), loosing memories, mentions of self harm, oh boy, rrau, this is gonna be angsty
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-28
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:23:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22944001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShandyCandy278/pseuds/ShandyCandy278
Summary: At first, there was nothing.Nothing except for him, and his other.
Relationships: None
Series: The Role Reversal AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1648933
Comments: 31
Kudos: 49





	1. A Series of Firsts

**Author's Note:**

> *jazz hands* Ta-da~!
> 
> You're probably confused. :'3
> 
> Basically, a while ago, I wanted to come up with my own kind of Multiverse AU. I wanted it to be something new, something that I hadn't seen or heard of before. I kinda gave up on it after a while, but then inspiration struck me while I was in the shower a few months ago!
> 
> I've already thought of a lot of stuff for this AU, and I've been talking about it on my Tumblr! There are Three Main Posts talking about the backstories and other little tidbits of information just click on the links and read up on it if you want to! (NOTE- JEAL HAS A BOOMERANG NOW, NOT A SICKLE!)
> 
> First Post: https://shandycandy278.tumblr.com/post/190461851202/ok-hear-me-out
> 
> Second Post: https://shandycandy278.tumblr.com/post/190470399117/joy
> 
> Third Post: https://shandycandy278.tumblr.com/post/190501576247/okay-so-i-was-thinking-about-that-role-reversal
> 
> For those who'd rather not, here's the gist of it:
> 
> Nightmare and Dream trade places with Ink and Error. However, Nightmare and Dream are still 'brothers' and Ink and Error are still not related.
> 
> Dream goes by Joy, Nightmare goes by Jeal, Ink goes by Aspire, and Error goes by Ire.
> 
> Jeal and Joy both have the same backstory as Original Ink does (for the most part). They live in the 'Realm of Dreams' (AKA- the Doodle Sphere). However, eventually, Jeal will stumble into the most important part of Error's backstory and become an error. He still goes by Jeal after that though.
> 
> Aspire and Ire don't really have the same backstory as Dream and Nightmare though. For one, they make sure that no one settles down within miles of the tree that they protect, so there's no bullying going on. (I'll share more information about them in a later work- this one's all about Jeal.)
> 
> Cross is in there too, but Jeal doesn't interact with him at all, so you'll have to wait until I write about Aspire to see more of him (or perhaps even when I write Cross' story. No, he does not get a name change.)
> 
> ANYWAY- I hope you guys enjoy!

At first, there was nothing.

Nothing except for him, and his other.

They sat back-to-back, leaning against each other in the nothing. The only source of comfort that they had, if they actually had the capacity to feel such things on their own. They could not remember a time when there was anything more or anything less. Just that they had their other behind them. And that was all that mattered.

_ Drip.  _

_ Drip.  _

_ Drip. _

Together, they blinked and looked up, watching as droplets of water fell from above them. The second they touched the ground, they evaporated, sending billows of smoke into the air around them. He turned to look at his other, who turned and looked back at him in turn.

This was new. They both knew it.

He returned his attention to the drops as they continued to fall, and when he reached out one of them fell on him, exploding into a harsh orange. It made his spirit swell deep within him, almost in irritation, before another drop fell on him, turning it into a deep satisfaction.

Finding the will to move for the first time in what had to have been ages, he turned around and grabbed his other’s hand, helping him to reach out too. A drop fell on his other, and his eyelights sparked as he sat up at attention, the feelings coursing through him. His other looked at him in surprise, and he couldn’t help but smile.

It was going to be okay.

* * *

Their Realm was quiet today.

He couldn’t help but smile as the droplets continued to fall around him, even with the sun shining brightly in the sky and no clouds to be seen. It was always raining here, but the sight of the colors exploding around him in a light sprinkle only filled him with joy. 

“Other!” His other called, and he turned to look at him. “Other, I have an idea!”

“What is it?” He asked, a bit amused. “The last time you came up with one, we had to-“

“I know, I know!” His other groaned, a soft yellow hue glowing on his cheeks. “Don’t remind me!”

“Are you going to tell me, other?”

“We should have names.”

“Names?” He tilted his head. “But you are my other.”

“And you are my other.” He replied. “Would that not get confusing to the ones above who grant us our feelings? Who provides for us, so that we can help them when we sleep through our dreams?”

“... I suppose that you are right.” He admitted, lifting a hand to his chin. “But what should we be called?”

A drop fell on his other’s face, and the blush of embarrassment grew. “I… I was thinking you would be Jeal. It suits you.”

“Jeal.” He tested, the word foreign on his tongue. His other watched him carefully, so he smiled. “Alright. And what of you?”

“I… Uh…” His other blinked, before laughing as he scratched the back of his head. “I forgot!”

“Hmm. I suppose that I will have to name you then.” Jeal smiled as the excitement in his other grew, a large smile growing wider on his face in- “Joy. You shall be named Joy.”

“After the feeling?” His other tilted his head as another drop fell on him, confused. “But why?”

“Because, my dear other-“ He wrapped his arm around Joy and brought him close, pressing his hands around his midsection to tickle his sensitive bones. “It is the one that is most befitting of your face!”

“Wha- Other!” Joy cried, his laughter echoing around their realm. “Stop! Stop! Other!”

“Alright, alright.” Chuckling, he let his other go. “Anything else?”

“No.” Joy shook his head and gave him a quick hug. “I’m going to go back to my side, okay?”

“Okay. Have fun!”

* * *

“Jeal! Jeal! Jeal, co- come quick!”

His other’s cries sent panic deep within him, and he didn’t hesitate to drop his gardening in order to run to Joy’s part of their realm. Had he gotten hurt again? Was he okay?

“Joy!” He called, looking around wildly.  _ Where was he?! _

“Jeal!” Joy called back, and without hesitation, he turned and ran towards his other. “Jeal! Wait!” He did  _ not _ wait, rushing and skidding to a stop in front of his other. He checked Joy over for injuries almost obsessively, only stopping his search once he was satisfied. Then he hit Joy over the head. “Ow! What was that for?”

“You made me panic!”

“I’m sorry~!” Joy whined. “I promise, it’s important!”

“And what is it?” Jeal asked, and Joy pointed down at the ground beside them. Jeal followed the finger, and the moment his pastel purple eyelights fell onto a strange tunnel in the ground he grabbed his other and pulled him several steps away from it.

“What the heck is that?!” He asked, holding onto Joy tightly. His other shrugged.

“It just… popped up out of nowhere.”

“That doesn’t help!”

“I think the ones above put it here.” Joy continued. “It’s directly in between our sides of the Realm.” Frowning as he observed the numbers and letters flowing in and out of the strange tunnel, Jeal held onto his other a little tighter.

“So what if it is?” He asked. “We shouldn’t go near it. It might be dangerous.”

“Why would the ones above give us something dangerous?” Joy asked in turn.

“Who says that it actually  _ does _ come from them?” He asked, a drop landing on his head as his spirit twisted and squeezed itself anxiously. “We’re safer if we don’t go near it, Other.”

“Jeal~!” Joy groaned, pouting at him. “But it’s something new! We can always come back.”

“No, Joy.”

“But-“

“We’ll wait for three days.” He interrupted, looking deep into his other’s pastel yellow eye lights. “If it’s still there, then we’ll explore it, okay?”

“Okay~” Joy sighed with a groan, slumping defeatedly against his other. Glad, he turned his other away from the portal and made a mental note to build a fence around that area. Just in case.

* * *

It had been three days, and that portal was still there. Jeal swallowed nervously, his hand tightening on his other’s.

When the deadline of three days first hit, Joy had been ready to nose-dive into the portal. The only reason why he hadn’t yet was because Jeal had convinced him into gathering supplies first. He had even convinced Joy into both of them changing their clothes before his other caught on to what was happening and dragged them both out here.

“You don’t have to come with me.” Joy said softly after a moment, rubbing reassuring circles onto the back of Jeal’s hand with his thumb. “You can stay here if you want. I won’t force you to go.”

“No.” Jeal stubbornly shook his head, holding onto Joy even tighter than he had before only to force himself to relax. “You are my other. I refuse to leave you alone in a place where we have not been to before. We go together.”

“Alright, Other.” Joy smiled, and then looked back down at the portal below their feet. At the same time, they both took a long and deep breath before jumping up and falling through the portal.

The second they were in the air, Jeal reached over for Joy and pulled him flush against him. He refused to allow them to be separated- not until they were positive that they were safe. A bright flash of white light nearly blinded him, but Jeal kept his other close even as they continued to fall. Not long after the flash, they fell onto something cold and wet, yet soft. They both shivered at the direct change in temperature, and slowly Jeal opened his eye sockets.

White. But not like the first white, which was empty and full of nothing. This white was cold and frosty, and he slowly sat up with Joy still tucked in his arms.

“Jeal.” Joy huffed, shifting around awkwardly as he tried to pull his face out of Jeal’s chest- Jeal hadn’t given him a lot of room, had he?

“Sorry,” Jeal mumbled as he let Joy go, only to wrap his arms around him again and pull him close once Joy was settled. It was in a more comfortable position this time, and Joy was able to look around at their surroundings.

“Woah!” Joy gasped, shaking Jeal’s arms a little. “Other! Look! It’s beautiful!”

He did, and while the sight of the white substance on the tall, thick yet dark trees was stunning, they were still in the middle of an unknown and relatively open space. So Jeal nodded his agreement, keeping Joy close even as they both looked around. He shivered again, the cold seeping through his clothes and into his bones.

“You doing okay?”

“Do we have a way home?” He asked back. “I’d feel more comfortable if there was one, Joy. I’m not seeing any portal here.”

“What?” Joy blinked, observing the area around them again, before realizing that what Jeal had said was true. “Oh no! Do you think we can make one?”

“I hope so.” Jeal shifted nervously. “I don’t want to not feel again…”

“Don’t worry, other.” Joy turned around in Jeal’s hold and hugged him, and Jeal felt better. “We’ll get home before then, alright? I promise.”

“Okay.” He let his arms hug Joy back, and once they were done they stood up together, looking around. “Where’s the sky?”

“I… don’t know? It feels familiar though…” Joy hummed. “Didn’t we see something like this through our dreams?”

“... Yeah, we did.” Jeal nodded, reaching over to hold his other’s hand. “Does that mean the ones above turned our dreams and put them into a physical form?”

“Maybe.” Joy hummed. “Regardless, we should-“

“Hello?!” A very loud, very sure voice called out of nowhere, causing them both to startle.

“Where did that come from?!” Joy asked.

“I don’t know, but I don’t think we should figure it out.” Jeal tugged on his other’s arm. “We should leave.”

“Is anyone out there?!” The voice continued.

“We don’t know what it is.” Joy said slowly, not moving. “What if it’s friendly?”

“What if it’s not?” Jeal countered, glancing around and trying to figure out where the voice was coming from. “We don’t  _ know.” _

“Exactly.” At the look Jeal gave his other, Joy sighed. “Other, I understand your concern, but let’s try it just this once.”

“Hello?!” The voice called again.

“Please?” Joy asked, gently rubbing his thumb over his other’s hand. “Maybe they can help us.”

After debating it in his head, Jeal finally sighed. “Fine.”

“Yay!”

“But we have our weapons at the ready!”

“Okay, okay.” Joy brushed off, summoning his sun-like shurikens in his right hand, seeing as his left was holding Jeal’s hand. In turn, Jeal summoned one of his sharp, moon-like boomerangs, and after a moment Joy spoke up.

“Hello?!”

“Oh! There is someone out here!” A loud, happy laugh soon followed. “I thought I heard voices! Where are you?”

“Uhhh…” Joy paused, looking back at his other. “This place would be called a ‘forest’, right?”

“Yeah.”

“We’re in a forest!”

“Yeah, but- oh, never mind! I’ll find you, just stay where you are!”

“Okay!”

“If you don’t mind me asking-“ Jeal could barely hear the crunch of footsteps as they wandered a little closer. “What is your name?”

“I’m Joy!” His other responded happily and without care. “And my other is Jeal!”

“Oh, there’s another person with you?” The mysterious voice asked as they switched direction slightly, the footsteps now walking directly for them. “Wowza! I love making new friends!”

“Friends?” Jeal questioned himself, his voice just barely a whisper. Joy shrugged.

“Perhaps a lesser form of other?”

“What other kind of relationship could there be as opposed to ours?” Jeal asked in turn, holding Joy closer to himself with a soft tug. “What more could there be than you being my other, and I being yours?”

“We’ll have to find out, Jeal.” Joy replied, giving his other a soothing squeeze through their joint hands.

“Oh! There you are!” Jolting at the unexpected and sudden clarity of the voice, Jeal turned his boomerang and aimed it threateningly at the figure who had just appeared from the woods before them. 

“Woah!”

“Jeal!” Joy mildly scolded, looking at Jeal with a small pout. Jeal glanced at his other before slowly, cautiously, lowering his weapon. His gaze never really left the figure before him, though. 

The other skeleton was built very similarly to their own constructs, with a bright blue scarf tied around his neck and some kind of battle armor around his chest. In his eye sockets were two, stary blue eye lights that reminded him of Joy’s when he was hit with a few drops of happiness at the same time. The skeleton stared at the two of them, almost awed, before something seemed to click into place in his head.

“Mweh-heh-heh!” He laughed. “You two must be otherworldly travelers!”

“Travelers?” Joy questioned, his shurikens disappearing, but it went unanswered as the skeleton stepped forward, throwing his arms out wide in greeting.

“Welcome to Underswap!” He cheered. _ “I _ am the Magnificent Sans, although you can also call me Blue if you like!”

“Woah~!” Joy gasped, tugging on Jeal’s arm a little. “So cool~!”

“What Alternate Universe do you come from?” Sans (maybe Jeal would stick with Blue, it was easier to remember) asked, his smile friendly and curious. Both Joy and Jeal blinked, turning to look at each other.

“Alternate Universe?” Joy questioned. “Have you ever heard of that term before, Other?”

“... No.” He admitted after a moment, shaking his head as he made his boomerang vanish. “Not even in dreams.”

“Neither have I…” Joy hummed. “Do you think that they are talking about our Realm?”

“I wouldn’t call our Realm an Alternate Universe, Joy.” Jeal grumbled. “Perhaps it is the general term given to the places that we visit in our dreams, considering that this place of ‘Underswap’ was one of them.”

“You could be right, but we won’t know unless we ask.” Suddenly remembering the other skeleton’s presence, they both turned back to look at Blue. “What exactly is an Alternate Universe?”

“Well, it’s when there’s a world that’s just like yours, but different in one way or another,” Blue explained. “The people act differently or have different places where they live. Maybe even people being replaced with others. Like-“

“Anyone who dares to replace my other will  _ pay,” _ Jeal growled, his hands twitching around his other’s hand. Blue’s hands instantly shot up into the surrender position, an awkward ‘Mweh-heh-heh’ falling out of his mouth.

“Perhaps I explained that wrong.” He said after a moment, his smile still open and honest. “Would you like to come with me to my house? My brother would probably be able to explain it better.”

“Brother?” Joy asked incredulously, looking back over at Jeal. “Do you think he means his other?”

“... I think we should try to go home.” Jeal admitted, shifting in the cold white. “We have been gone for long enough, Other. The ones above might not like our absence.”

“Maybe Blue and his other can help us.” Joy suggested, almost sure of himself. “Clearly they have met other travelers before. They must know how to help us find a way back to our Realm.”

He didn’t want to admit it, but Joy has a good point. He looked between Joy and Blue for a moment before mumbling something incoherent under his breath as he shifted closer to Joy, tightening his grip. His other returned the sentiment.

“We would love to go with you to your home.” Joy finally said, snapping Blue out of the confused look on his face.

“Oh! Splendid!” Blue clapped his hands, striking a pose as he turned around. “Come, travelers! I shall tell my brother about your arrival while we walk!”


	2. Learning New Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeal and Joy go to the brother's house and talk for a bit. Then, while they're off exploring worlds, they stumble into Underfell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I am updating this again.
> 
> Yes, it's choppy.
> 
> But I don't care rn X'D
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy!

The walk was pleasant, even with how weird the substance Blue called ‘snow’ felt under Jeal’s feet. The town they walked through was mostly quiet yet lively with the way various other creatures moved from place to place, talking and communicating with each other.

“Brother! I’m home!” Blue called out as he opened the door to one of the buildings, gesturing for Jeal and Joy to walk in. Joy eagerly led the way while Jeal followed swiftly, observing the room around them. “And we have two travelers with us!”

“Oh?” The new voice came from above, and Jeal snapped his head up to look at who it came from. It was another skeleton, but the bone structure was different from theirs and Blue’s. He was also  _ much _ taller than them, and when he vanished and reappeared right before the two of them, Jeal resummoned his boomerang and aimed it at the taller, moving so that he was standing in front of Joy cautiously. The taller skeleton blinked down at him, even as Jeal hissed.

“Other! What are you doing?” Joy tugged at his sleeve. “That’s rude!”

When Jeal still didn’t move, the taller slowly took a few steps back and raised his hands placatingly in between them.

“No, it’s okay.” The taller said. “I startled you with my short-cut, right? Don’t worry about it.”

Slowly, and after a few moments of contemplation, Jeal dismissed his magic and allowed Joy to move past him.

“Sorry about that.” Joy laughed a little. “This is our first time traveling, as you call it. I am Joy, and this is my other, Jeal.”

“It’s nice to meet you.” The other skeleton responded kindly, holding his hand out lazily to shake. “I’m Papyrus, but you can call me Stretch.”

“It’s nice to meet you too!” Joy shook Stretch’s hand.

“Brother, did you read my texts?” Blue asked as he walked into the kitchen. 

“I read them,” Stretch replied, gesturing to the couch. “Why don’t you two sit down and relax? I’ll try to explain everything as best I can.”

“Okay!” Joy sat down, and Jeal was only seconds behind him. He was quick to hold his other close, his eye lights not once leaving Stretch’s sockets.

“Well, let's start off with what an Alternate Universe is…”

* * *

After talking with Stretch and Blue after what felt like ages, Blue finally asked them about their worlds. Joy and Jeal glanced at each other, uncertain. The two ‘brothers’ clearly thought that they were from two separate worlds, seeing as there was usually only one ‘Sans’ and one ‘Papyrus’ per Alternate Universe. Jeal glanced over at Blue and Stretch, and Joy gave him a small nod before he sighed.

“We don’t think that our Realm is like yours,” Jeal admitted slowly.

“Our?” Stretch asked at the same time Blue asked ‘Realm?’. They both looked a little shocked, Jeal hadn’t exactly said anything until this point, so he nodded.

“We are the only two people in our Realm.” Joy continued. “As far as we are concerned, that’s how it’s always been. We were the first and we will probably be the last. It used to be nothing but white too, but the ones above granted us the ability to change that.”

Stretch blinked multiple times.

“The… ones above?”

“The ones who brought the rain!” Joy smiled brightly, waving his hand around. “They’re the ones who grant us our dreams, and in turn, we help them!”

Jeal could physically feel the confusion welling up inside of them, and it was surprisingly a struggle to actually not be confused by his other’s explanation. It made perfect sense, after all- why in the white should he actually be confused? A glance at Joy told him that he was struggling with the same thing, so he cleared his throat.

“Perhaps we are not actually a part of one of your ‘Alternate Universes’.” He suggested, leaning forward and looking his other in the eye. “If these ‘Alternate Universes’ really are the worlds we see in our dreams while helping the ones above, then why haven’t we seen our own? Chances are, other, we are not the same as the ones before us, and our Realm is entirely different than theirs.”

“True.” Joy hummed, tapping his chin with a finger. “That would make sense. Our Realm does not sound like  _ any _ possible Alternate Universe you speak of.” He frowned. “Does that mean that it will be harder for us to return? We really shouldn’t be gone long.”

“No, it shouldn’t change getting back home.” Stretch scratched his cheekbone. “If it’s your realm, then yeah. Do you want to try?”

“Yes.”

“Alright then.” He stood up with a groan, stretching. “But first, we’re going to have to figure out what you can and cannot do.” He looked down at Jeal. “I know that you can summon that little weapon of yours, but what about bones? Teleportation? Blue magic? Do you know?”

“I…” Jeal blinked, mildly confused. “What.”

When Stretch sighed again, Blue stood up and put his fist over his chest. “Don’t worry, Papyrus! I’ll teach them! I know just the place to do it, too!”

“You’re so cool, bro.” Stretch gave Blue a lazy smile before looking back down at them. “My bro knows what he’s doing, so be sure to listen, alright?”

“Okay!” Joy said, picking up on Blue’s excitement. Jeal couldn’t help but be a little excited as well, even as everyone started to talk around him. 

Maybe this hadn’t been such a bad thing to do after all.

* * *

The training with Blue had helped, and eventually, they were able to make it back home to their Realm of Dreams. Jeal was oh-so-very relieved about it, but Joy had noticed something off.

Normally, it would have only taken a few minutes of not getting any drops from the ones above to render them emotionless, but that hadn’t happened. In fact, if felt like they had still gotten what they needed, but it was already used. Stale, as Joy had described it.

The next time they left, because they had promised to visit Blue, Jeal could feel what his other was talking about. It felt like any of the emotions that they felt were second-hand to someone else, and after talking with Joy about it, they decided that they got those emotions from the people around them, who were created by the ones above.

“They’re like us.” Joy had said at one point. “But because they have a world instead of a Realm, they are different. They don’t need droplets, though. I wonder why.”

It was unfortunate when they had found out what that reason was.

Joy had wanted to explore the other worlds that Blue and Stretch had talked about, and today they had stumbled upon a world called ‘Underfell’. Which, apparently, was very violent.

Jeal had never liked the idea of violence- unless it was in defense of his Other.

The local ‘Sans’ had attacked them the moment he saw them, and with Joy taking care of getting them back to their home, Jeal was the one who was fighting. He deflected bone attacks with mild ease, the second-handed anger and frustration coming from the ‘Sans’ settling deep inside his bones.

“Dang-it.” The other huffed, his hand flashing blue with magic as he made an odd motion with his hands. Jeal dodged the bone attack that was less complex than the others with ease. “Why aren’tcha turnin’ blue?!”

“Blue?” Jeal blinked multiple times, confused. “Why would I turn into Blue?”

“My blue magic!” The blue tinge came to his hand again, and he made another odd motion with it, the bones he sent missing Jeal completely. “You’re supposed ta be affected by it! Why aren’tcha?!”

“What does blue magic do?” He asked, confused.

“You know-” The skeleton made an odd motion with his hands as he dodged Jeal’s attacks. “It’s supposed ta make your soul heavier and let me affect your gravity!”

“Soul?” Jeal blinked a few times. “What’s that?”

“What’s a soul?!” ‘Sans’ exclaimed, confusion coming off of him in waves. “How do ya not know what a soul is?! It’s  _ literally _ the culmination of your being! What are ya, soulless?!”

For whatever reason Jeal couldn’t place, the words hit him. 

_ Hard. _

It hurt him on the inside in a way that he had never felt before, and he staggered backward in a pathetic attempt to dodge the next attack.

Luckily for him, Joy grabbed him by his shirt and dragged him through the portal just in time, returning them to the Realm of Dreams.

“Are you okay, other?” Joy asked when Jeal didn’t say or do anything, too shocked to actually comment. When he didn’t respond to the prompt, Joy shook him a little. “Jeal, are you alright?”

“I…” Words were failing him, and he struggled to meet his other’s gaze. He swallowed, his mind finally catching up with where they were as he slowly relaxed. “I’m okay, Joy.”

“What happened, other?” Joy asked, lightly rubbing Jeal’s arm in such a way that helped him to relax more. 

“Joy…” Jeal hesitated, glancing away before looking back at his other. “What is a ‘soul’?”

“I…” Joy paused, his brow bones furrowing as he thought about it. “Don’t know. I think Blue and Stretch have mentioned it before- we can ask them about it when we visit again.”

“Okay.” Jeal nodded, but he couldn’t help but wrap his arms around his other. Joy returned the hug eagerly, and Jeal soaked up whatever comfort he could find in the embrace as a slow, sticky and dreadful feeling made its way into Jeal’s being.

He had a  _ very _ bad feeling about this.


	3. A Series of Unfortunate Events

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things changed after that trip to Undefell...
> 
> And Jeal ended up somewhere he really shouldn't be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... If there's one thing that I suck at more than writing fight scenes, it's bullying X'D
> 
> WARNING: there are Panic Attacks in this chapter!
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy!

Jeal wasn’t sure what was going on.

It had been months since they had tried to explore Underfell, and up until now, everything had been okay. They had even learned what souls were, along with the fact that they didn’t have one (although they agreed to keep that a secret from everyone, including Blue and Stretch). They also learned about all the various stories each world carried, and with each journey came new challenges and triumphs.

But one day, as he bought something from a surface AU with the money that Blue had given him and Joy to use, he heard it.

“Soulless freak.” The human muttered, handing him his change.

It hit him right in the middle of his chest, and he gave the human an odd look before shrugging it off. He had heard about Humans being biased against monsters before- perhaps it was an insult he hadn’t heard yet.

Only for those two words to be repeated again.

And again.

And again.

By humans…

_ And _ by monsters.

It wasn’t until a few months after that that he realized that they  _ knew. _

He and Joy had been walking around an AU when they ran into a UF!Papyrus, UF!Sans, and UF!Undyne walking around on the surface, having been recently freed from their Underground. Joy had waved eagerly to them, and they had waved begrudgingly back before UF!Sans’ eyes had locked onto Jeal.

“That’s ‘im!” He shouted, pointing a finger at Jeal and making him and Joy both freeze in confusion. “That’s the guy I was tellin’ ya ‘bout!”

“Him?” UF!Papyrus asked briskly, frowning over at the two of them. Jeal pressed close to Joy’s side, wrapping his arms around one of his other’s arms. He didn't like the sound of this.

“Maybe we should leave.” He admitted hesitantly, also not liking the feeling of disgust and hatred that were building up in the three Fell monsters.

“Why?” Joy asked, simply confused. “We should figure out why they feel like that. Maybe we can help.” Jeal ducked his head a little, biting back his tongue. His other was unaware of the names and insults that Jeal had been called. Jeal hadn’t told him to protect Joy, because once Joy found out he’d insist to talk to them about it, and if he talked to them they’d find out that he was soulless too, and if they knew he was soulless as well there would be no chance of anything good happening.

But even if he was going to tell Joy about it, he didn’t want his other to find out about it like this- both of them feeding on the predominantly negative emotions of the people around them, and thus more inclined to act out in such ways.

The only way to get Joy to leave would be to tell him what was going on, and as he stewed in his indecisiveness, UF!Undyne called out.

“Hey, punk!” She yelled, walking over while cracking her knuckles. “Is it true that you’re actually soulless?!”

“What?” Joy asked, blinking up at her, even more confused and perhaps a little frightened. Jeal tugged on his other, hoping to lead him away. Joy didn't move.

“No, not ‘im!” UF!Sans groaned. “The one that’s hidin’ like a coward behind ‘im! I’m tellin’ ya, my magic had no effect on ‘im!” Jeal froze, and he could hear the realization hit his other like a hammer to a nail.

“I was talking to him!” UF!Undyne yelled over her shoulder while rolling her eye, leaning around Joy to look at Jeal and poke him in the chest. “So? What is it? Are you or are you not? Cause this stupid bag of bones-“ She waved her arm behind her. “Won’t stop complaining about not being able to use blue magic on you. But you can’t be alive without a soul, so-“ She glared at him. “What’s going on here?”

Joy, realizing what was going on and recognizing the UF!Sans as the one who they had fought all those months ago when Jeal had first asked about souls, stepped in between them. “That really isn’t any of your business.”

“Hey, I’m just curious!” She exclaimed, but with the emotions that Jeal could feel inside of her, she was gearing up for a fight. “Besides, he can speak for himself, can’t he?”

“If my other doesn’t want to talk to you, he doesn’t have to.” Joy’s eye sockets narrowed in a reflection of UF!Undyne’s own anger. He took a deep breath and let it out, leading Jeal away. “Come on, Jeal- maybe it  _ is  _ time to go home.” Jeal sighed in relief, but it didn’t last long when he realized that that made UF!Undyne  _ angrier. _ Magic was sparking in her hands, ready to throw a spear as her eye flashed green.

_ She was going to do something to Joy! _

“Watch out!” He yelled, pushing Joy out of the way. Moments after, he was given a spear for some strange, inexplicable reason. The second it was given to him he let go of it, summoning his boomerangs instead and getting ready to fight. UF!Undyne observed him critically, and she must have found whatever it was she was looking for because a huge grin began to grow on her face.

“Wow! You really  _ are _ a soulless freak!” She laughed, sneering down at him as he winced. “Sans really  wasn’t  making that up!” She turned around, cupping her hands over her mouth. “YA HEAR THAT, PAPYRUS?! YOU WERE WRONG FOR ONCE YA _SISSY!”_

Someone tugged on Jeal’s shirt, and Jeal looked behind him only to see Joy staring at Undyne wearily. Within moments, Joy opened a portal behind them, and together they returned to the Realm of Dreams. It took a few minutes to realize that Joy was leading them to Jeal’s side of the Realm, the blues and purples that made up his abode calming to him. 

Soon, they were inside Jeal’s private room, and Joy led him towards the pile of pillows he usually used for reading books, both of them making themselves comfy against their other. It wasn’t until Joy had wiped the tears off of Jeal’s cheeks that he realized that he was crying, and once the small, indisputable fact clicked in his mind sobbed.

After that, it was like the dam that had held his emotions back broke, and he  _ couldn’t stop crying. _ He clutched onto his other’s shirt desperately, his sobs and wails full of panicked, half-thought-out apologies and thoughts that he couldn’t even keep track of.

He didn't know why he hadn’t noticed it before, but when the feeling came back into his bones he could feel Joy’s hand soothingly rubbing up and down his spine. The next thing to come back was his hearing- Joy was whispering soothing words to him, assuring him of forgiveness and that they were safe now. He sobbed again at that, his fingers tightening on Joy’s shirt and pulling his other closer to him.

The last thing that came back to him was his sight, which had quickly gone dark only seconds after they had first sat down who-knew-how-long-ago. It came to him slowly, the gentle and cool colors a welcoming first sight as his vision eventually focused. With that back, he was able to calm down a little, and soon enough he was able to get his breathing back under control. He leaned into Joy, relaxing against the soft thrum of magic that made up his being without the need of a soul.

“Are you feeling better now, Other?” Joy asked softly, his hand still moving against Jeal’s back.

“A…” He sniffed, cuddling into Joy some more. “A little.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“... Not really…”

“That’s okay.” Joy pulled him closer, resting his skull on top of Jeal’s. “Just know that I’m here if you want to talk about it, okay?”

“Okay.” Jeal closes his eye sockets, and they sat in silence for a moment before he spoke up again. “Other?”

“Yes, Jeal?”

“Don’t…” He swallowed. “Don’t get into a fight with them. Don’t let them realize that you’re soulless too, please?” He looked up into his other’s yellow eye lights. “I don’t… I don’t want them to treat you like that… not when you’re exploring and doing what you love.”

“Okay.” Joy whispered, the hand on his back moving up to rub at his skull. “I promise, Jeal. I won’t let anyone find out about me.”

Worries put to rest, Jeal closed his tired eyes and let himself fall asleep in the arms of his other.

* * *

Jeal… didn't really leave the Realm of Dreams after that, much less actually open up a portal. Sure, he went with Joy to visit Blue and Stretch, and to explore new worlds, but Jeal never came back to a world after they heard through the grapevine that he was soulless. They had explored almost every world too, and the only worlds that didn't give him weird looks were Underswap and Littletale.

“Are you sure about this?” Joy asked, well aware of Jeal’s reluctance to visit already-discovered worlds. In fact, from what Jeal had heard, many of the Monsters or Humans that Joy befriended begged for Joy to stay in their world- to keep him away from Jeal. 

They had both laughed about it, but sometimes Jeal feared that Joy would stay in those worlds and not come back for whatever ridiculous reason. His other always soothed those fears when he spoke of them, and Jeal honestly couldn’t have been more relieved.

“It’s the Anniversary of the portal the ones above sent us,” Jeal replied while anxiously going over his outfit- smoothing out the wrinkles and making sure that he had his bag on him. “It’s a gift they gave us, and we should celebrate it. Besides-” He gave a small smile. “Blue and Stretch deemed today our Birthday too, and we both know that we were told that people go out to celebrate that. We should too.”

“... If you’re sure…” Joy slowly said as he reached for Jeal’s hand, holding onto it. Joy opened up a portal. “Let’s go to Underswap and Littletale first.” Jeal relaxed at that- his other really was the best.

“Alright.”

* * *

It had been okay so far. They mostly visited the worlds who had inhabitants who would stay away from Jeal, but not act out. They had stayed together throughout the whole day, and it was slowly starting to get late. They had agreed to go to one last world together and had decided to go out to eat.

“Is there anything that you want to try, Other?” Joy asked, a small bag of G in his hands (how Joy got it, Jeal didn’t know. He just hoped that Joy hadn’t decided to steal it like he had with the last one). Jeal looked around the fairground they had ended up in, humming a little. They were at the edge of it, with only a few people around. They had taken to staying around the less populated parts while exploring the fair, and with people already leaving for the day, it was far less crowded than it had been.

“Not really.” He shrugged, rubbing his thumb against the back of Joy’s hand for a moment before letting it go. “Why don’t you surprise me?”

“Really?” Joy asked, his whole face lighting up. Jeal chuckled and gave his other a nod, so Joy gave him a quick hug. “Great! I’ll be right back!” And then Joy rushed off, disappearing into the crowd. Jeal smiled after him, and honestly, he had felt much better today than he had over the last several months hiding. His chest was light and his fears were small, all thanks to Joy.

His other really was the best.

_ CLUNK! _

Jeal yelped, falling onto his hands and knees as stars exploded in his vision. He gasped, raising his hands up to his skull, only for whatever it was that hit him to collide with his side. He tried to roll away, but a foot stepped down on the middle of his back and kept him pinned. He struggled to break free, but the foot pressed down harder in retaliation, and he could have  _ sworn _ that he heard a few ribs crack.

Jeal glanced behind him, his purple eye lights small as he took in the sight of a large lizard monster. Three other monsters and two humans flanked his sides- each with their own kind of weapon.

“We’ve been waiting for that idiot to leave.” The first monster sneered, the baseball bat he weirded glimmering menacingly in the light of the setting sun. “If he won’t live with us in our AU, then we’ll just have to take care of you. Who knows what kind of hypnotism you used to get him to stay.”

“No, no!” He yelled. He summoned his boomerangs in his hands, ready to use them to escape, but two of the other monsters stepped on his hands and pinned them down. Jeal cried out in pain, kicking out uselessly with his legs as the others slowly crowded in on him. Panicking, Jeal sucked up all of the breath that he could, and then _screamed._

_“HELP!”_ He shouted, as loud as he could. _“HELP ME! JOY! JOOOOY!”_

“Oh no you don’t-“ The baseball bat hit his head again, forcing it to painfully collide with the ground. Darkness crept in from the corners of his vision as he struggled to get another breath in so that he could scream again, only for the downpour of kicks and punches to come down on him. He struggled to fight against them the entire time, and it felt like  _ ages _ before someone finally called out.

“Hey! Stop!” Joy’s voice called out. “Leave him alone!”

“Dang-it.” The Lizard cursed, turning to his friends. “Take care of him.”

The ones he had ordered were the two keeping his hands pinned, and the moment his hands were free he summoned his boomerangs again and swiped at his attackers. Shocked, they leaped back, and he had enough space to move fast enough to send the leader to the ground. He stood up as fast as he could, his vision spinning and his body screaming at him with the amount of pain he was in. 

Jeal couldn’t think straight, and if he couldn’t think he couldn’t fight, so his next choice of action was to open a portal for the first time in ages and run straight through it- back to his Realm, where he  _ knew _ that he’d be safe. He did so without prompting, ignoring the call of his Other as he rushed into the white.

Only when he was safe inside his Realm, the portal closed behind him, did he allow himself to sag down onto the floor, his breathing heavy as his mind slowly but surely descended into chaos.

When Jeal could finally think, he opened up the eye sockets he didn’t realize he had closed, and froze.

This…

…

_ This wasn’t the Realm of Dreams. _

He snapped into attention, forcing himself to stand up as he looked around wildly, searching for any sign of color or rain.

But there was nothing.

It was like their Realm before the ones above granted them their rain of feelings. 

And this time, he was alone.

He shivered, wrapping his arms around himself and, despite the pain he was in, started walking in a random direction.

Maybe he had just opened a portal to the area beyond the end of the Realm of Dreams. If that was the case, then if he walked for long enough he would find it eventually. It had happened to Joy once, back when they were still building up their Realm, and no matter how far or long he had ran, he had always ended up back home.

Jeal just... needed to hold himself together until then.

Yeah, that...

That was a good plan.


	4. The Anti-Void

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeal is lost in the Anti-Void. The place that changes people, where their last coherent thought defines who they'll become and what they'll do.
> 
> I wonder what will happen now...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS:
> 
> Panic Attacks  
> Mentions of Panic Attacks  
> Memory Loss  
> Self Harm  
> Mentions of Self Harm  
> Mentions of Memory Loss
> 
> Note: The Anti-Void is everywhere yet nowhere, which means that technically everyone's emotions would be there too, even though there isn't anything actually there. So Jeal never runs out of emotions, which makes things... less than ideal. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

He didn’t know how long it had been.

Seconds? 

Minutes? 

Hours? 

Perhaps even Days?

Yet there was still no sign of his Realm.

Jeal had tried to open up another portal (several times, in fact), and now he was sitting there on the nonexistent floor, emotionally drained from his last several breakdowns and panic attacks.

And wasn’t that such a strange thing? That Jeal could actually feel here without the aid of the ones above or the people around him, when it felt and looked like there was nothing here. It also felt like everything WAS here though- every single emotion in the entire Multiverse was here- and sometimes Jeal felt like there were a million eyes staring at him, criticizing him, laughing at him. And no matter how many times he freaked out because of it, he never seemed to run out of tears.

Regardless of the impending doom of being trapped in here forever, he had faith and hope that his other would come and save him. He would be saved, and brought back to his realm, and his other would hug him and chase all his pains and anxieties away- just as he always had.

It took a moment for Jeal to realize that he couldn’t remember what his other looked like.

He gasped silently, his body going stiff as sudden fear struck him yet again, and after a moment he forced himself to take a deep breath and let it out slowly.

That- That was okay. If he had been stuck here for as long as he thought he had been, it would make sense that he would forget what his other looked like. At least he would never forget his other’s name! Jeal had chosen it for him, after all! It was-

…

It- It was…

…

_ What was his other’s name?! _

He was struggling to breathe now, his chest heaving faster and faster as his thoughts spun around him for what felt like the millionth time.

When he came back from his panic, one thing was terrifyingly clear.

He was forgetting.

He was forgetting about his other, about their realm, about himself.

He needed to stop himself from forgetting his other somehow, but how?! There wasn’t anything here!

…

…

Anything except for  _ him. _

Desperate to remember, to never forget, Jeal latched onto the first thing that came to his mind when he thought about his other. It was the symbol they had come up with together- the one that resembled their Realm. They both usually had the symbol on them- his other with his scarf and Jeal with his bag, but his other had been carrying his bag when he had run through that blasted portal. He’d have to go by memory.

Jeal took a deep breath, and then with a shaking hand, summoned his boomerang. It was sharp, just like it had always been, and easy to hold. Perfect.

Using his left hand, Jeal situated the boomerang over the palm of his right hand. He took another deep breath, and then brought the boomerang down on his hand.

_ OH RAIN THAT HURT! _

Jeal hissed, but he pressed onward anyway- carving their intertwined sun and moon insignia into his bones. By the time he was finished, the pain was numbing, and tears were silently flowing down his cheeks.

Jeal took a deep breath, looking up at the empty sky of wherever it was he had ended up in, relieved.

He wouldn’t forget about his other now. 

…

_ But what if he forgot something else? _

Jeal knew that he probably didn’t have much time if he was going to carve something else into his bones. If he didn’t make quick work of it, he’d likely pass out from the pain and possibly forget that he was forgetting things. He needed to choose something else- something that was just as important to him as his other.

…

His name. The one that his other had given him.

He quickly went to work, placing his forearm against the white floor and using his boomerang to carve the letters onto the underside of it. They looked jagged and clumsy, and he was pretty sure that the J was backwards, but he didn’t care.

His whole body was shaking now, and he let his boomerang fall onto the floor with a soft, echoless clang. His vision kept on fading in and out, and everything hurt, but that was okay because it meant that he wouldn’t forget who he was- wouldn’t forget that there was someone out there who was his other.

He…

He was… really tired, too.

He didn’t know when it had happened, but somehow he ended up laying down on the floor, closing his eye sockets. The numbing pain only sped up the process, and just before he fell asleep he had one last coherent thought.

_ ‘I wish I had a soul. Maybe then I would be with my other instead of here.’ _

* * *

When he came to, there was white.

Which confused him for some reason.

He sat up, and his aching arm distracted him from the nothing.

There were symbols carved into his bones.

How had they gotten there?

He hesitantly reached up a finger to touch the carvings and hissed when a sharp pain followed. They were sore.

As he observed his hand, something clicked into place in his memory, and he had to blink again in order to register what he was seeing.

Why were his bones turning black?

He flipped them over and observed the odd occurrence. Something inside of him wanted to scream at the discovery and run away, but he did his best to hold himself back. Maybe this was actually normal for him. Maybe he was a black and white boned skeleton all the time. 

He didn't know.

He brought his attention back to the symbols, tilting his head curiously as he observed them.

Had…

Had he done this to himself?

That inner him that wanted to run away screamed at the thought. Yes, he had done it to himself. He did it because something unnatural was happening to him…

But for the life of him, he couldn’t see what exactly was happening to him. He couldn't feel anything wrong, even though something kept screaming at him that it _was_ wrong, that there was something wrong with him, that he needed to leave this nothing.

But where could he go? What else was there out here besides the nothing?

Something?

Someone?

Were they important?

_ He didn't know. _

...

...

...

Maybe he could sleep it off.

Yeah, sleeping... sleeping sounded better than losing himself to his panic.

He laid back down on the white nothing, willing himself to sleep.

* * *

He didn't know a lot about himself.

What he knew was he could see. His right palm and forearm had been carved with something, creating strange symbols that he didn't understand. His bones were black- every single last one. Something at the back of his mind told him that they weren’t supposed to look like that, nor was he supposed to glitch. He didn’t have anything to look at himself with, but he was pretty sure that he’d recognize himself anywhere.

The voices were very friendly though! They complimented him and told him that he was pretty, along with many other things! They even talked about the stories that they were writing! Sometimes they’d ask him for help or advice, but in all honesty, he had no idea what they expected him to do. He didn't know how to encourage them- he never had, as far as he was concerned.

Sometimes they’d say things he didn't like though. They’d ask him questions that he couldn’t answer, about things that he didn't know. He’d get so upset that he’d melt into a puddle, and when he’d come back they’d apologize and try to help him feel better.

A while ago, one of them had asked him if he could make portals, or at least one-way windows. He didn't know what they were talking about, so he asked them to help him figure it out. He was watching something through one of those ‘one-way windows’ now, actually. He had stumbled across some kind of story- ‘Epictale’, the voices called it. He found himself drawn to it like a moth to a flame, and when a heart was pulled out of someone’s chest, he froze.

He…

…

Somewhere, deep down inside him, something stirred. It was like a beast rising from the depths of the ocean, and when he finally remembered where he was, he pointed at the heart curiously.

**“What’s that?”**

_ A soul, _ The voices whispered.  _ It’s the culmination of their being. All their magic, hopes, dreams, fears, desires, and more are stored inside of it. It’s perhaps the most important thing you can ever have. Everyone has a soul! No one is ever created without one! _

_ You should show us your soul! _ One of them exclaimed, and many of the voices voiced their agreement. The voices were always curious.

**“I… how do I do that?”** He asked, too confused to really do anything.

_ Put your hand on your chest, _ Another voice suggested.  _ And then imagine pulling it out from inside of you. The area where your soul is should be very warm, so you put the hand over the warmest area there is. _

**“... Okay.”** He shifted around a little. He didn't quite… feel a warmth inside of his chest? So he just chose a random part of it and concentrated. He wanted to see his soul. He wanted to know what it looked like.

But when he pulled his hands away and blinked, no soul appeared.

He tried it again.

And again.

And again.

_ Nothing. _

**“I…”** He paused, the words on his tongue familiar in a way that he didn't like.  **“I don’t... think that... I have a soul.”** His hands slowly curled into fists, some kind of… strange, nagging feeling tickling the back of his skull. _**“I don’t have a soul.”** _ He looked back at the window, not really watching the fight as his eyelights locked onto that small, tiny heart.

He... 

... 

That…

... 

He remembered.

_ He never had one. _

And if the voices were to be believed, he was the  _ only one _ who didn’t have one.

He grit his teeth, his glitches jumping around and falling down his body like some kind of goo as he struggled to process his own thoughts. He stood up suddenly, glaring at the window and wishing it away as he turned around and stared up at the white, empty sky.

**“Tell me how to get a soul.”**


	5. Bringing Someone In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeal gets his 'first' experience with someone from the outside of the Anti-Void. A familiar someone.

It took a while.

But from what he heard from the voices, the best way to get a soul was to absorb it. And the best way to do that was to find someone who he was compatible with, but in order to figure out who that was, he had to do research. He spent very long periods watching the worlds, searching for someone who was compatible so that the process would be smooth. There were a countless amount of worlds- each one familiar to him in a way that sent shivers up his spine.

He pushed the feeling off to the side though- he didn't like the uneasiness that came with it. He tried to skip through the worlds that made him feel that feeling the most, but one of those worlds was the one where he found them. The one who would work.

He was pacing back and forth right now, hesitant to continue despite his resolve. The world felt too close to him- close to things that he didn't want to know or think about, despite the fact that he didn't know anything. His form glitched and shifted as he walked back and forth, glancing occasionally at the window that featured the person who’s soul he’d take.

Finally, he stopped in front of the window and took a deep breath.

**“How do I take his soul?”** He asked. 

The voices were unanimous- have the soul summoned before him, grab it, and focus on wanting to make it his own. He took another deep breath, nodding to himself.

**“Okay.”** He said. **“Okay. I’ll… open up a portal under him and bring him here.”**

He stared at the window for a few more minutes, gathering up the courage to do something that he hadn’t done before. Hadn’t he tried to open portals already? And failed? He shook the thoughts off, raising up his hand and drawing a line under where he wanted the portal to appear in the window. He held his breath, his eye sockets widening when a portal  _ actually  _ opened up there, and the skeleton fell through with a yelp.

They landed somewhere behind him, so he was quick to turn around and see for himself that it had worked, the window closing as he lost focus.

They…

They were here!

They were actually here!

_ Someone else was here with him! _

“What the…?” The other skeleton looked around, rubbing their back as they took in the infinite nothing. When the other’s eye lights landed on him, he stood up at attention, a wide smile spreading on his face.

_ They were finally here! _

“Uh…” They blinked, waving their hand hesitantly. “Hello? Did… Did you bring me here?”

**“I did.”** He whispered, almost disbelievingly. Then he spoke louder.  **“I did! I did it! I brought you here! It worked!”**

“Oh! That’s…” The other skeleton looked around. “Cool. Where are we, if you don’t mind me asking?”

**“I don’t know!”** He laughed, walking over and smiling down at them. **“But I don’t know a lot of things!”**

“Oh.” They grunted as they stood up, brushing themselves off and offering their hand to him. “Well, it’s nice to meet you! My name’s Blue. What’s your name?”

**“Name?”** He asked, tilting his head to the side.  **“I don’t… what’s a name?”**

“A… A name is something that people call you.” Blue answered, his smile turning into a worried frown. “Do you… not have one?”

**“I have one!”** He yelled back, and Blue flinched in surprise.  **“Of course I have a name! It’s…”** He grew quiet, staring off into the nothing.  **“It’s…”**

_ What was his name? _

“Hey, it’s… it’s okay.” Blue said, holding up his hands in a motion that soothed him for some strange reason. “If you can’t remember, don’t worry about it. I’m sure you’ll remember eventually.”

**“Yeah… yeah!”** He lit up again, and Blue smiled too.  **“I will remember!”**

“So…” Blue looked around again. “Is there a particular reason you brought me here?” He asked, looking from the nothing to him.

**“Reason?”** He asked, tilting his head again. He thought for a moment, his browbones furrowing in thought, and then he remembered.  **“Oh! Right! You’re compatible!”**

“Compatible?” Blue asked.

**“Yeah!”** He beamed. **“The voices said that I needed to find someone compatible if I was going to take their soul!”**

“Take…” Blue’s eye sockets grew wide, and he swallowed before he continued. “Take their… soul?”

**“Uh-huh!”** He laughed, rocking up and down on his feet.  **“That’s what they said! They said that if I wanted a soul of my own, then I’d have to find the soul of someone who was compatible and take it, cause I don’t have one!”**

“You… don’t… have a soul?” Blue asked slowly and softly, his hands going up to his chest as something akin to suspicion and sympathy entered his thoughtful expression.

**“Nope!”** He pouted and shook his head. **“I want one though!”** He perked up again.  **“So I’m going to take yours!”** At the horrified look on the other skeleton’s face, he laughed.  **“Don’t worry! I don’t want to do it right now!”**

“You… don’t?” Blue asked, furrowing his browbones and relaxing a little. 

**“Nu-uh!”** He reached out and grabbed Blue’s arm, tugging him in the hopes that he would follow.  **“No one’s ever been in here with me before besides the voices! This is new! We should have fun together before you die!”**

“I…” Blue shifted, hesitantly following him along as he led them to a random spot in the emptiness and sat down. “Okay… What… What do you want to do?”

**“I…”** He frowned, his fingers twitching.  **“I don’t know… What do people do when they have fun?”**

“Well…” Blue seemed to be deep in thought, like he was trying to think about too many things at once. “Some people like to do things together that they like to do, so…” He smiled. “What do you like to do?”

**“Oh!”** He smiled.  **“I like to talk to the voices! They’re really nice!”**

“Voices…” Blue murmured, looking around. After a moment, something seemed to click into place in his head, and he smiled sadly. “I don’t think I can hear your voices…”

**“You can’t?”** He asked, a strange feeling building up inside of him as he frowned.

“No.” Blue shook his head. “Maybe there’s something else you like to do?”

**“I… there…”** He tried to concentrate really,  _ really _ hard so that he could think of something before he remembered.  **“Oh! I like to watch Epic!”**

“Epic?” Blue asked, the sad smile growing just a little bit. “What’s that?”

**“You haven’t seen Epic?!”** He gasped, almost scandalized.  **“That… That’s horrible!”** He scooted so that he could sit closer to Blue while he manipulated his glitches to form another window. He made sure that it was focused on the beginning, and not where he currently was in the story.  **“Let’s watch it!”**

* * *

He wasn’t sure how long they’d spent watching Epic, but he jumped when Blue touched his right hand.

“Sorry.” Blue retracted his hand when he glitched at the contact, his body growing unstable. “I didn't mean to startle you.”

**“It’s…”** He paused.  **“It’s okay.”** It hadn’t actually felt bad, he just… didn’t expect it.

“I… I was wondering…” Blue was hesitant, but he looked like he knew more than he let on as he lightly tapped the carving on the palm of his right hand. “About this, if you don’t mind talking about it?”

**“I…”** He frowned, tilting his head as he looked down at the design-  _ really _ looked at it. It was odd, and the shapes that made it up were easy to see- highlighted like a grey scar on his bones. It was familiar, and he could almost recall something about it- something that was important, but…

“It’s okay if you don’t want to.”

**“No, I…”** He trailed off, lifting up his left hand to trace the scar.  **“I… don’t remember.”**

“That’s okay.” Blue paused for a moment, thinking, and then scooted closer to him curiously. “Is there anything else that’s like it?”

**“Why do you want to know?”** He asked sharply, looking up at Blue suspiciously. Blue paused for a moment, considering him, before smiling.

“Because I’m curious.” He admitted. “I promise that I won’t do anything! Besides, we’ve been hanging out for a while now. Doesn’t that mean that we’re friends now?”

_ Friends.  _

What an odd word. Strangely enough, he knew what it meant, too. 

Were he and Blue friends? They  _ had _ been hanging out for a while now, and they were getting along. If Blue thought they were, then why not? 

…

But…

… 

Wasn’t there… something else that was like that? Something that was… better than that? Something else… something special… 

…

He couldn’t remember.

He fought with himself for a moment, staring deeply into Blue’s blue eye lights, before slowly offering him his right forearm. Blue gently grabbed it with his gloved hands, his movements slow and easy to read as he looked down at it.

**“I… I don’t know what they are either.”** He confessed as Blue looked over his arm. They sat in silence for a moment, and as the seconds ticked by, a sad recognition appeared on Blue’s face. He blinked for a moment, processing the emotion before he hesitantly whispered. **“... Do you?”**

“I…” Blue paused, almost like he was second-guessing himself, before he continued. “I know what these mean.”

**“Really?!”** He asked, his eye sockets growing wide as he stared at Blue eagerly.  **“You do?!”**

“Yeah.” Blue nodded, tapping one of the symbols on his forearm. “These are letters.”

**“Letters?”**

“Yup!” Blue smiled. “Letters are symbols that represent the sounds that we make. You put them together to make words.”

**“And what does it say?”** He asked, and Blue looked up at him. His smile was warm and happy, yet sad all at once in a way that he couldn’t comprehend. 

“It says a name,” Blue said slowly, his thumb absently tracing one of the scarred letters. “I… I’m pretty sure it’s yours.”

**“I have a name?”** He gasped, excitement growing inside him. He looked down and squinted at his forearm, struggling to make sense of them.  **“What is it?”**

“Well,” Blue pointed at the first symbol. “This is the letter J. The next one-” Blue moved his finger to the next one. “Is the letter E. That’s A, and this last one is L.” He looked up at Blue again when he was done with pointing at the letter-symbols, watching happily as Blue paused before continuing. “It reads ‘Jeal’.”

**“Jeal.”** He repeated slowly. It was familiar to him, like he had heard it being said a million times, and a warm feeling grew in his bones that made it feel _right._ **“I’m… Jeal.”** He smiled, looking down at his arm to trace the letters with his finger, sounding it out as he went. **“Jeal…”**

_ Plip. _

_ Plip. _

He, Jeal, blinked at the wetness that fell onto his bones. It was another kind of familiar, and almost instinctively he looked up at the sky to see where it was coming from. He felt something like… hope? Longing? Sadness? 

Why was he even looking up? It wasn’t coming from there. Nothing ever came out of the nothing.

He looked down again when some more fell onto his arm, and it took a moment to realize that the wetness was coming from Blue. It was falling down from his eye sockets and past his cheeks as he smiled at Jeal, and Jeal tilted his head in confusion.

What was the word for that…? The voices had mentioned it before. It was…

**“Blue?”** He asked, reaching out to touch his cheekbone.  **“Why are you crying?”**

“I…” Blue paused, and several emotions flashed through his face before he smiled. “Sorry. I’m just… really happy that we found out what your name was!” There was something wrong with his voice as he said it, but before Jeal could ask, Blue tugged on his arm again. “Let’s just… go back to watching Epic, okay?”

**“... Okay.”** Jeal answered slowly, turning back to look at the window. They had skipped some parts, but that was okay. He had learned about something that was more important than that.


	6. A Source of Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeal gains a 'new' friend and doesn't want to take their soul anymore. What will he do now...?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And it is here that I will stop updating this story for a bit so that I can write a different story about Aspire and Ire's past, and then I'll post the big fight that happens between the three of them once all that's been caught up (this story will be the next one in the series). 
> 
> Everyone in this Multiverse needs hugs, smh.
> 
> I hope you enjoy the chapter! :D

When they were done watching Epic, Jeal had forgotten all about Blue’s tears.

“So…” Blue paused, fiddling with his thumbs as he watched Jeal. “Are… are you going to take my soul now?”

**“Oh! Right!”** He turned to look at Blue, but something uneasy settled deep within him.  **“I… guess I’ll take your soul now.”** He reached out, and the second he touched Blue’s chest his soul appeared, floating and beating right in front of his ribcage. It would be easy to grab it. To absorb it.

So he was going to do it.

He was  _ going _ to do it.

Right.

Now.

…

…

…

His fingers twitched in front of the soul, his thoughts spinning around his head with a conundrum of feelings that almost made his head hurt.

_ Why hadn’t he done it yet? _

He looked up from the soul to stare into Blue’s face. It looked resigned and bittersweet, his eye sockets closed and ready to give Jeal his soul.

But…

That…

That wasn’t… right.

He didn't know where it came from, but something deep inside him didn't want Blue gone. Didn't want to do this to Blue.

But why?! Why didn't he want to do it to Blue?! What reasons should he have to not take his soul?! He had waited for  _ ages _ to get one! He had always wanted one! 

_ So why?! _

**“... Because…”** Jeal whispered, and Blue opened his eye sockets to look him in the eye.  **“Because… you’re… you are…”**

“Jeal?” Blue asked, concerned. He slowly reached up to brush his fingers against his cheeks, and it was only then that he realized that  _ he _ was the one crying. “Jeal, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

**“I…”** He took in a shaky breath, and he could barely feel his body shaking as he raised his hands up to his head to hold it. His thoughts swirled around him uncontrollably, and he could feel his confusion, frustration, and fear rise up from within him.  **“I don’t… I-I** **_can’t-”_ **

“Hey!” Blue placed his hands over Jeal’s, holding him still and forcing Jeal to look at him as fear tore through his mind. He fought against the touch, but Blue’s hands held fast and kept him there. “Look at me.  _ Look at me, _ Jeal. I’m- I’m going to help you, okay? I promise, everything’s going to be okay. I’m here to help.” Jeal shook his head rapidly, his breathing shallow and not nearly deep enough for him to actually breathe. Blue held onto him tighter, but not forceful enough for the touch to be painful- just grounding. Jeal even found himself leaning into the touch, even though the only thing he wanted to do was run away. 

“Jeal, please, I need you to look me in the eye. It’ll help, I promise.” Blue tried to meet his gaze, but Jeal closed his eye sockets stubbornly. No. He couldn’t look Blue in the eye while it happened, and he braced himself for whatever it was that happened after he felt this strongly. He couldn’t remember what exactly happened in the past when he got like this, but he knew that it hurt, and he didn’t want to be in pain. Blue’s hold lightened a little, and his thumbs gently caressed Jeal’s bones while Blue leaned forward and pressed their foreheads together.

“Relax.” He demanded, his voice was soft and gentle despite being loud enough to cut through the noise. Jeal couldn’t help but listen, although it was hard to even do that, and a sob tore through his throat. “It’s okay,” Blue continued in that same tone of voice. “Everything’s alright, Jeal. I promise. You’re going to be okay, I’m going to help you. Now, breath in-” Blue took a large, audible breath, and Jeal struggled to do the same. “-and out.” Blue made a whooshing noise, and Jeal did his best to follow. “Good. Again.”

They did that many times, and soon Jeal realized that Blue really  _ was _ helping him- just like he said he would. Blue was telling the truth, and- and he hadn’t done anything to make him think otherwise. Jeal shakily moved his hands around to hold onto Blue’s as they continued to breathe in and out together, until the fear he felt slowly began to dissipate. Slowly, hesitantly, he opened his eye sockets. His eyes focused on Blue’s eye lights, and a small smile grew on the other’s face.

“There we go.” Blue said, his voice soft and no longer demanding his attention through the sea of fear he had been drowning in only moments ago. It was easier to focus on Blue and only Blue with their foreheads pressed together, grounding him in this vast nothing. “See? I told you that I would help you.” He slowly moved his hands, gently wrapping his arms around Jeal’s neck in an embrace that he could leave if he so wished. “It’s okay now, I promise. And I don’t ever break my promises.”

Jeal wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do now, so he kinda just… relaxed into the hold. He hesitated before slowly wrapping his arms around Blue again, but it felt so…  _ right. _

Jeal leaned his head onto Blue’s shoulder, hiding his face in the armor-like fabric before he tightened his hold on Blue- just in case he was going to leave. His whole body was still shaking, but he didn't care as Blue slowly began to rock them back and forth, whispering things that he couldn’t quite grasp as he let Jeal cry into his shoulder.

Blue was still rocking him when all of Jeal’s tears were spent. They had somehow ended up in a position where Jeal was sitting on Blue’s lap, straddling his hips and wrapped around him like a koala. One of Blue’s hands was still wrapped soothingly around him, but the other one was gently rubbing at his skull in a way that felt so nice and warm that he couldn’t help but let out a little noise of happiness. He could almost feel Blue smile in response, and the rubbing and rocking continued.

“Are you feeling better now?” Blue asked after several moments of silence. Jeal hesitated before he nodded. “Good, good… I’m glad.” Jeal hugged him tighter, nuzzling his face into Blue’s neck. Blue hummed in response, resting his head against Jeal’s. “... Do you want to talk about it?”

**“I…”** Jeal paused, frowning. Why had he freaked out? What had happened? What were they even doing before this? He couldn’t quite remember…  **“I don’t remember.”**

“... Huh…” Blue said to himself thoughtfully. “Well, Alphys and Undyne did mention that Panic Attacks can cause memory loss…” Jeal made a small, questioning noise, and Blue held him closer. “Do you want me to tell you what we were doing?”

**“... Yes.”** Jeal answered after several moments. Thankfully, Blue had never stopped his calming movements. Jeal didn’t really want him to either.

“Well,” Blue shifted Jeal around in his arms so that they were sitting in a more comfortable position. “You were going to absorb my soul. You know, so that you could-“

**_“NO!”_ ** He yelled suddenly, holding onto Blue tighter and making him yelp in surprise.  **“I won’t do that!”**

“Really?” Blue asked, his voice shocked. 

**“You…”** Jeal struggled to find his words, and even when he did it was to actually get the words out. He was crying again when he finally found it in himself to speak.  **“You’re my friend now. I don’t want to lose my friend! I don’t want to be alone!”**

He didn’t want to lose anything else, something whispered in his mind. No more loss, no more pain. 

It was gone before he could fully register it.

“Oh, Jeal…” Blue sounded so…  _ happy _ yet sad, and Jeal could feel himself grow warm with the knowledge that he had at least made his friend happy. “But then how will you get a soul? Don’t you want one? I… really don’t mind, so long as it’ll help you…”

**“I’ll find someone else.”** He said sternly.  **“I’ll find someone else who’ll work, and I’ll go, and I’ll take their soul instead.”**

“Alright.” It was silent for several moments, and soon Blue began to hum some kind of tune along with rubbing his skull and rocking from side to side. It was very soft, and Jeal could feel his body relax and eye sockets grow heavy. When he stopped, however, Jeal moved his head so that he could look up at Blue curiously. He seemed to be really lost in thought, so he spoke up.

**“Blue?”**

“Yes?” He asked, looking down at him.

**“What are you thinking about?”**

“What am I thinking about?” When Jeal nodded, Blue gave him a small smile. “Well, I’m thinking about a lot of things right now, but… most of them are about my brother.”

**“Your brother?”** Jeal asked, and Blue nodded.

“He’s probably really worried about me right now,” Blue told him, his voice still low and soothing. “I didn’t know that you were going to bring me here, so I couldn’t tell him beforehand. He’s probably wondering where I am right now.”

**“Where… you are?”** He murmured. That… that felt like a familiar train of thought. Had… had he thought that before? Was there… 

His head was starting to hurt.

“Yeah. Papyrus doesn’t know that I’m here right now. He doesn’t know that here exists, actually.” Blue sighed. “Papyrus knows that I can take care of myself, but with how long I’ve been missing, who knows what he’s thinking.”

The words were familiar to him in a way that Jeal didn't like. His head was starting to hurt even more, so he pulled himself a little closer.

**“... Do you want to leave?”** He asked.

“Yes.” Blue admitted. “I don’t want to worry my brother, but… I also don’t want to leave you here…?”

**“Leave me here?** ” Jeal looked up.  **“So… I** **_can_ ** **leave?”**

“If you can bring someone in, then why can’t you leave?” Blue asked in turn.

**“... I don’t know…”** Jeal looked down again.  **“I think I couldn’t before…”**

“Well,” Blue leaned down so that he could look at Jeal, his smile bright. “Now you can! I’m positive it’ll work this time!”

**“Yeah… Yeah!”** Jeal smiled back at Blue.  **“I’ll do it!”**

“Great!”

**“Will you come back? If you leave?”** He had to know. He wanted to see Blue again.

“Of course I will, Jeal.” Blue gave him a tight hug. “I’d love to come back and see my friend! But…” Blue frowned. “Are you not coming with me?”

**“I’m going to get a soul first.”** Jeal’s hand moved slowly so that he could rub at his chest.  **“I’ll get a soul, and then I’ll go with you, okay? I want… I** **_need_ ** **a soul…”** The idea of leaving without one sent shivers up his spine, and images that he couldn’t see flashed through his mind. He couldn’t see them, and he didn't  _ want _ to see them either for some reason. He tightened his hold on Blue, wishing for the sudden fear he felt to go away. To his relief, it worked.

“... Okay, if that’s what you want.” Blue soothed. “You promise to come and get me when you have one? So that I can bring you home?”

**“I promise.”**

* * *

After a few more minutes of ‘cuddling’ (that’s what Blue called it, anyway), they learned that Blue couldn’t make portals in or out of the Anti-Void, so Jeal had to do it. Jeal had watched Blue for a few minutes after returning him to his world, just to make sure that he was okay, before he started up his search again for a compatible soul.

The voices had been upset about not being to talk to Blue, but Jeal had stopped paying attention to them after he realized that Blue couldn’t hear them. They were a bit mad at him for that, and he apologized, and now everything was okay! They were even offering different AUs for him to look through, and with them helping him, it really didn't feel like it took all that long.

**“TraitTale,”** Jeal muttered to himself as his window focused on the two compatible souls. They were wrestling together in a patch of grass, smiles on their faces and laughter ringing throughout the air. They both had silver crowns on their heads, and one had white bones while the other had black ones. 

**“Should I go for it?”** He asked, and instantly all of the voices affirmed his decision. With a stern nod, he reached his hand out and drew where the portal was supposed to show up underneath them.

…

…

…

Nothing happened.

Jeal frowned and moved his finger around in another circle. Again, nothing.

_ Different coding? _ The voices theorized.  _ Perhaps their magic is interfering? It’s been different from a regular skeleton's ever since they were adopted… perhaps it’s the world as a whole? _

_ You’re going to have to leave in order to get the soul, Jeal. _ A voice whispered in his ear, the tone so… devious that it sent a shiver up Jeal’s spine.

**“I…”** Jeal swallowed nervously.  **“I have to… leave?”**

_ Yeah! You can leave now! _

_ Go and get a soul, Jeal! You’ve earned it! _

_ You deserve to have your own soul! _

_ What’s wrong? Go get them! _

**“I…”** He gasped, the air stolen from him for some reason as fear took over his thoughts again.  **“I don’t… I don’t** **_want_ ** **to leave… I-I can’t- I shouldn’t-''** Panic began to steadily grow inside of him, and the next thing he knew he had collapsed onto the floor. His breathing was deep and heavy, his hands being held up against his head as he struggled to gain control- struggled to understand what was going on.

It felt like he was melting, and then he heard a loud beep, and then…

_ Silence. _


End file.
